Ready to Go

5.8.02 INT. KEOUGH HALL RM. 435 2:03pm DAY

most­ly packed and ready to get the hell out of south bend for a few days. i hope i can fit every­thing into my car, but i’m not too wor­ried. this sum­mer will be used to heal the dam­age that this year has done to me, both phys­i­cal­ly (with my knee) and men­tal­ly (pret­ty much every­thing else). if all this shit builds char­ac­ter, i’m gonna be one tough mofo. the thing is, i think i have quite enough char­ac­ter already thank you very much. i have a nice start to my sum­mer read­ing list, i won­der how much i will read before i get back to ND.

i am a tran­sient being, ethe­re­al and fleet­ing. i leave no marks behind me, just fad­ing mem­o­ries. con­stan­cy is my style, yet it is the con­stan­cy of change and readap­ta­tion, para­dox. where i go no one wants to fol­low because it is too con­fus­ing. out of con­fu­sion springs enlight­en­ment. if you stare at the white noise long enough, you will be able to see the super­fi­cial­i­ty of exis­tence and the com­plex­i­ty of noth­ing­ness. no one real­ly wants to be enlight­ened, they are much more sat­is­fied to let the respon­si­bil­i­ty for liv­ing and breath­ing and act­ing fall on any­one but them­selves. i pity those who can­not rec­og­nize the pow­er inher­ent in them­selves, inher­ent in every per­son, the pow­er to change real­i­ty and cre­ate that which was only imag­ined.

today i am bubon­ic

Rally Behavior

today marks the begin­ning of my finals week ral­ly behav­ior. no shav­ing, min­i­mum groom­ing, only nec­es­sary wash­ing. i’ll be wear­ing the same clothes until i go home on the 9th. dis­gust­ing i know. there is a rea­son. it makes mar­moset hunt­ing much eas­i­er. the pygmy mar­moset is the tan­gi­ble form that all things stress­ful in my life take with me. so around finals time they have been breed­ing all semes­ter and now coor­di­nate an all out offen­sive for my soul. i must bend all of my psy­chic ener­gies to defeat­ing them and keep­ing their nefar­i­ous plan to over­throw the uni­verse at bay. this semes­ter i have an ally: the Notre Dame squir­rel. since i have made friends with them they have agreed to act as my infantry. i like ami­nals (*twitch twitch*)

today i am clean

Packing

we have to start pack­ing up our rooms in the next week. it seems kind of dumb that they expect us to move every­thing out of our liv­ing space and study for finals in a lit­tle white shell. hope­ful­ly the weath­er will be nice and i can do my work out­side. i am anx­ious for the sum­mer to get here because it will be much less stress­ful. the good thing is that i have min­i­mal work for the rest of the year. i am start­ing on one of my final papers and hope­ful­ly i’ll get a good jump on it before the week is over. today is going to be a good day. it is sup­posed to thun­der­storm severe­ly which is very nice, but right now it is sun­ny and warm. i’ll enjoy either. thats my goal now, just to enjoy things instead of stew­ing in my own juices. i don’t make for a good mari­nade.