Monkey Impression

Wednesday, 6 November 2002

when it comes to im­per­son­at­ing a Great Ape of the or­der Primates i am king. i can be a won­der­ful mon­key. it helps that i gan­gle more than most peo­ple and have the emo­tional de­vel­op­ment of a ju­ve­nile lemur. i’ve got aggressive/​excited Gorilla be­hav­ior down to a sci­ence. i’ve got my stan­dard ex­cited hop­ping around/​pantomime fe­ces-throw­ing ‘aaah aaah’ scream­ing mon­key and also my creepy an­gry chest-beat­ing, branch shak­ing ‘ooh ooh’ bum-rush­ing sil­ver­back rush. most peo­ple who know me think it is rather funny. one of my friends gets scared when­ever i do it though. ap­par­ently i’m TOO ac­cu­rate.

so, if you ever need some­one to act like a gorilla/​monkey be sure to call my toll free num­ber 1 – 888-APE-MANN. sorry, i don’t do birth­day par­ties.