Self-Making

Thursday, 2 May 2002

5.2.02 INT. LAFORTUNE STUDENT UNION COMPUTER CLUSTER. 2:41pm DAY

yeah so i’m typ­ing this pa­per on the rhetorics of self-mak­ing. i’m talk­ing about agency, use-value of au­ton­omy ver­sus re­la­tion­al­ity, and the in­trin­sic un­nat­u­ral, vari­ant and dy­namic na­ture of self­hood. i even un­der­stand most of what i am talk­ing about. the post­mod­ern is alive in my pa­per. re­flex­iv­ity abounds, but the Law of Unintended Consequences also strikes with force when i start think­ing about shit like this. why am i even writ­ing this pa­per? i am merely mak­ing my­self write to what the prof wants to hear dis­cussed, mor­ph­ing my­self into a a sit­u­a­tion where i am self-ac­tive but (pre­tend­ing) to not be self-aware of my ac­tions. so my pa­per in ef­fect is a lie. my fi­nal tes­ta­ment in the Development of Anthropological Theory 430 class is noth­ing more than a sim­u­lacrum of vom­ited diplo­macy de­signed to sate the self-es­teem of my pro­fes­sor, so he feels he taught us well. it seems his self­ness is also cre­ated by the ex­pec­ta­tions and ac­tions of so­cial be­hav­iors. i think i am be­tray­ing my­self by even writ­ing this pa­per (even more so by try­ing to do a good job). what con­structs MYself?