Monkey Impression

Wednesday, 6 November 2002

when it comes to im­per­son­at­ing a Great Ape of the or­der Primates i am king. i can be a won­der­ful mon­key. it helps that i gan­gle more than most peo­ple and have the emo­tion­al de­vel­op­ment of a ju­ve­nile lemur. i’ve got aggressive/​excited Gorilla be­hav­ior down to a sci­ence. i’ve got my stan­dard ex­cit­ed hop­ping around/​pantomime fe­ces-throw­ing ‘aaah aaah’ scream­ing mon­key and al­so my creepy an­gry chest-beat­ing, branch shak­ing ‘ooh ooh’ bum-rush­ing sil­ver­back rush. most peo­ple who know me think it is rather fun­ny. one of my friends gets scared when­ev­er i do it though. ap­par­ent­ly i’m TOO ac­cu­rate.

so, if you ever need some­one to act like a gorilla/​monkey be sure to call my toll free num­ber 1 – 888-APE-MANN. sor­ry, i don’t do birth­day par­ties.