Today I will describe, in minute detail, my various physical deformities. Drumroll, please.
- I have a slight limp in my left leg.
- My nose is crooked.
- The left side of my face is lower than the right side.
- My left eye is less open than my right eye.
- Sometimes I get long pubic-like nosehairs.
- I am slowly going bald.
- I am missing a tooth.
- I have a long scar on my right temple.
- I have a mutant patch of hair on the right side of my chest that is not matched on the left side.
- I have a mole on my arm that grows pubic-like nose hairs.
- I have a few pockmarks. [Should have listened to mom when I had chicken pox]
- I slouch.
Something vaguely Lacanian has been running through my mind the past couple of days. a monolectic about identity. when a person’s identity is secure, (and by secure i mean that the positive aspects that a person perceives in themself are validated, affirmed and reiterated by someone else) this enables them to revisit the dark moments in their past and learn and heal from them. this revisitation is not nostalgic which in effect creates a world that is an ideologue and cannot be returned to. the revisitation instead is truly cathartic, the truth is confronted and dealt with instead of mythologized.
the difficulty is successfully challenging this trauma-memory without sacrificing your own identity in relation to it. that is why you need a buddy to reaffirm and hold on to your self while you are off slaying whatever dragons are in your past.
i don’t know quite if this is right or not, but i think i have been either brave or foolhardy and gone off to wrestle with memory without having the necessary backup. mayhap, it has made me more individual or mayhap this thought is a result of an individualism that existed before trauma was confronted. in any case i’ve a problem with individualism. but that is another story.
i suppose i’ve been successful at these confrontations (if they actually happened) otherwise i’d be a bit loony.