Beard Accident

Monday, 10 February 2003

–Why are things like this re­port­ed?

Honestly, it serves on­ly as an ex­pli­ca­tion of cul­tur­al val­ues in­stead of any­thing re­mote­ly health-re­lat­ed. It is al­so far too nar­row, deal­ing on­ly with Welsh men. Now, they men­tion that so­cial fac­tors are prob­a­bly the cause of a ma­jor­i­ty of the dis­eases, ap­par­ent­ly be­cause men that don’t shave reg­u­lar­ly are blue col­lar work­ers that don’t get any. But this is im­me­di­ate­ly dis­missed in fa­vor of the ev­i­dence for shav­ing. and ap­par­ent­ly, not shav­ing reg­u­lar­ly fucks up the testos­terone lev­els which in turn leads to stroke. ex­cuse me, but a beard grows whether or not you shave it. and the lack of sex is most def­i­nite­ly due to mate ap­pearence pref­er­ences rather than any­thing to do with the phys­i­ol­o­gy of fa­cial hair. if a girl doesn’t like fa­cial hair she won’t sleep with you. if fa­cial hair mess­es up sex­u­al viril­i­ty Homo sapi­ens sapi­ens would have died out long be­fore the first ra­zor. how can peo­ple get 20 years of fund­ing for this when an artist or in­de­pen­dent film­mak­er has to kiss pim­ply ass and jump through flam­ing hoops blind­fold­ed just to get the chance to ask for mon­ey. Stuff like the above ar­ti­cle will de­stroy the world.

why am i so emo­tion­al­ly in­volved? well, i do have fa­cial hair. i do not get any, and i would much rather think that it is be­cause girls don’t like fa­cial hair rather than the idea that hair makes me im­po­tent. was it not a sign of po­ten­cy back in the day? al­so the NEA gets axed while 20 year stud­ies on shav­ing get plen­ty of fund­ing. yeah, the NEA was a US thing and this was in Britain, but they are most def­i­nite­ly re­lat­ed phe­nom­e­non.

*UPDATE*

not two min­utes ago af­ter go­ing to the bath­room to trim said fa­cial hair, the elec­tric trim­mer slipped from its se­lect­ed trim­ming length and be­fore i knew it i had tak­en quite a chunk out of my beard. i had to trim it al­most to obliv­ion. po­et­ic jus­tice my ass.