Beard Accident

-Why are things like this report­ed?

Hon­est­ly, it serves only as an expli­ca­tion of cul­tur­al val­ues instead of any­thing remote­ly health-relat­ed. It is also far too nar­row, deal­ing only with Welsh men. Now, they men­tion that social fac­tors are prob­a­bly the cause of a major­i­ty of the dis­eases, appar­ent­ly because men that don’t shave reg­u­lar­ly are blue col­lar work­ers that don’t get any. But this is imme­di­ate­ly dis­missed in favor of the evi­dence for shav­ing. and appar­ent­ly, not shav­ing reg­u­lar­ly fucks up the testos­terone lev­els which in turn leads to stroke. excuse me, but a beard grows whether or not you shave it. and the lack of sex is most def­i­nite­ly due to mate appearence pref­er­ences rather than any­thing to do with the phys­i­ol­o­gy of facial hair. if a girl doesn’t like facial hair she won’t sleep with you. if facial hair mess­es up sex­u­al viril­i­ty Homo sapi­ens sapi­ens would have died out long before the first razor. how can peo­ple get 20 years of fund­ing for this when an artist or inde­pen­dent film­mak­er has to kiss pim­ply ass and jump through flam­ing hoops blind­fold­ed just to get the chance to ask for mon­ey. Stuff like the above arti­cle will destroy the world.

why am i so emo­tion­al­ly involved? well, i do have facial hair. i do not get any, and i would much rather think that it is because girls don’t like facial hair rather than the idea that hair makes me impo­tent. was it not a sign of poten­cy back in the day? also the NEA gets axed while 20 year stud­ies on shav­ing get plen­ty of fund­ing. yeah, the NEA was a US thing and this was in Britain, but they are most def­i­nite­ly relat­ed phe­nom­e­non.

*UPDATE*

not two min­utes ago after going to the bath­room to trim said facial hair, the elec­tric trim­mer slipped from its select­ed trim­ming length and before i knew it i had tak­en quite a chunk out of my beard. i had to trim it almost to obliv­ion. poet­ic jus­tice my ass.