i’m eradicating the friday mp3. i’m bored with it.
tonight i went to a local fencing tournament and beat down. overall i placed third, but the only two bouts i lost the whole evening were against the same person, who won the tourny. he is ranked as an ‘A’ by USFA standards, while I, a mere chode, was ‘U’ for unranked. but by placing third i got myself a ranking of ‘D.’ Actually, D03 for the year in which i did it. what does this mean? diddly. but more importantly i found that i really enjoy fencing when it doesn’t mean anything, and i can just have fun. i enjoyed competing as a part of a team, but without the pressure to do well, fencing is hella fun.
5.8.02 INT. KEOUGH HALL RM. 435 2:03pm DAY
mostly packed and ready to get the hell out of south bend for a few days. i hope i can fit everything into my car, but i’m not too worried. this summer will be used to heal the damage that this year has done to me, both physically (with my knee) and mentally (pretty much everything else). if all this shit builds character, i’m gonna be one tough mofo. the thing is, i think i have quite enough character already thank you very much. i have a nice start to my summer reading list, i wonder how much i will read before i get back to ND.
i am a transient being, ethereal and fleeting. i leave no marks behind me, just fading memories. constancy is my style, yet it is the constancy of change and readaptation, paradox. where i go no one wants to follow because it is too confusing. out of confusion springs enlightenment. if you stare at the white noise long enough, you will be able to see the superficiality of existence and the complexity of nothingness. no one really wants to be enlightened, they are much more satisfied to let the responsibility for living and breathing and acting fall on anyone but themselves. i pity those who cannot recognize the power inherent in themselves, inherent in every person, the power to change reality and create that which was only imagined.
today i am bubonic