Great Outdoors

Tuesday, 17 June 2003

I just had the most won­der­ful walk.

The house I’m stay­ing in this sum­mer is less than a hun­dred yards from a riv­er, and right up the street from a park. The neigh­bor­hood is qui­et, and the park [apart from some lit­ter] is just right. The trees are mon­strous, thick trunk­ed and tow­er­ing. Meagan should come down and see their size, their sin­u­ous branch­es and all that.

The riv­er was quite ac­tive this evening. I live right along the East Race of the St. Joseph’s riv­er, and the East Race is the nicest part of the riv­er to ex­pe­ri­ence, and has been de­vel­oped ap­pro­pri­ate­ly to suit this. There was a guy out in waders cast­ing in the cur­rent, he made me want to fish again. Moments lat­er, some peo­ple on a Seadoo jet­ted past. Quite a few peo­ple were walk­ing on my side, an el­der­ly la­dy was work­ing in her yard, and on the oth­er side of the riv­er, much high­er [per­haps 50 feet] I could see some cou­ples sit­ting, walk­ing, etc.

Ducks and their broods were all over. and some skeeters too, that I avoid­ed. I just took it all in, tried to for­get about my measly de­sires, felt con­tent for a bit, said ‘Thanks’ and came back home.

Its hot­ter than the dick­ens in here.

South Bend Fencing

Friday, 7 March 2003

i’m erad­i­cat­ing the fri­day mp3. i’m bored with it.

tonight i went to a lo­cal fenc­ing tour­na­ment and beat down. over­all i placed third, but the on­ly two bouts i lost the whole evening were against the same per­son, who won the tourny. he is ranked as an ‘A’ by USFA stan­dards, while I, a mere chode, was ‘U’ for un­ranked. but by plac­ing third i got my­self a rank­ing of ‘D.’ Actually, D03 for the year in which i did it. what does this mean? did­dly. but more im­por­tant­ly i found that i re­al­ly en­joy fenc­ing when it doesn’t mean any­thing, and i can just have fun. i en­joyed com­pet­ing as a part of a team, but with­out the pres­sure to do well, fenc­ing is hel­la fun.

Ready to Go

Wednesday, 8 May 2002

5.8.02 INT. KEOUGH HALL RM. 435 2:03pm DAY

most­ly packed and ready to get the hell out of south bend for a few days. i hope i can fit every­thing in­to my car, but i’m not too wor­ried. this sum­mer will be used to heal the dam­age that this year has done to me, both phys­i­cal­ly (with my knee) and men­tal­ly (pret­ty much every­thing else). if all this shit builds char­ac­ter, i’m gonna be one tough mo­fo. the thing is, i think i have quite enough char­ac­ter al­ready thank you very much. i have a nice start to my sum­mer read­ing list, i won­der how much i will read be­fore i get back to ND.

i am a tran­sient be­ing, ethe­re­al and fleet­ing. i leave no marks be­hind me, just fad­ing mem­o­ries. con­stan­cy is my style, yet it is the con­stan­cy of change and readap­ta­tion, para­dox. where i go no one wants to fol­low be­cause it is too con­fus­ing. out of con­fu­sion springs en­light­en­ment. if you stare at the white noise long enough, you will be able to see the su­per­fi­cial­i­ty of ex­is­tence and the com­plex­i­ty of noth­ing­ness. no one re­al­ly wants to be en­light­ened, they are much more sat­is­fied to let the re­spon­si­bil­i­ty for liv­ing and breath­ing and act­ing fall on any­one but them­selves. i pity those who can­not rec­og­nize the pow­er in­her­ent in them­selves, in­her­ent in every per­son, the pow­er to change re­al­i­ty and cre­ate that which was on­ly imag­ined.

to­day i am bubon­ic