Feedback

Tuesday, 29 April 2003

yesterday’s poetry feedback group was less than helpful in most ways, but more than helpful in one major way. My writing, and diction, needs to change unless i want to alienate readers and have them dismiss my work. apparently, and i can see this quite easily, my terminology is a bit archaic, people can’t get their head around my language constructions, and therefore cannot grasp my intent.

i also, and this is equally important, and from my own realizations, need to come up with topics to write about that aren’t quite so cerebral. i think i often use poetry as a form to speak on whatever has been cogitating in the ole noggin. perhaps instead of taking something abstract and putting it into tangible perhaps I should get my hands in the clay before creating the pot.

thus, i must change, in order to reach readers i have to be able to create the scene with contemporary language. this presents a problem for me because i have trouble making images and situations sound fresh and when i try to spice things up i inevitably get a bit old-fashioned. i need to figure out how to direct myself toward the future or tap into the present instead of using the past as my recourse. how do i do this?

Hit the Fan

Wednesday, 16 April 2003

it hit the fan today in poetry class, but i do not feel vilified. what i wanted was discussion and by gum i got it. some few were offended, most discussed what exactly i was going for, ranging from satire to prima nocta rights. some wanted me to make the ending different to acknowledge my understanding of rape = bad. others disagreed. everyone had something to say. all was well. i successfully stirred the pot. then i was allowed to speak. i said that there have been a significant amount of rape poems written in this class by various people and that i have had trouble engaging within them. there is the female victim, which women can identify with, but for men there is only the rapist. i said that i do not feel that i am being addressed by these poems.

there was much disagreement to this. i was told i was wrong, that i was being addressed. alas, there was no more time for discussion, because the professor made us move on. if so i would have responded that if i do not feel like i am being addressed but i am supposed to be, then there is a fundamental problem with the poetry. also, i would have said that even if i did feel addressed, i am still offered no frame of reference for how to associate myself as a non-threatening male toward a victimized female. the dialogue takes place between the rapist and his victim only.

overall the class became what i wanted it to. i am quite pleased.

Horn Toot

Wednesday, 26 February 2003

i don’t like to toot my own horn but jmay requested what the class thought of my latest. here are some of their comments:

  • cool chess imagery – this is quite an accomplishment. juggler. juggler…
  • once again, your depth of historical or thematic knowledge here is applied and over my head, but in this case it doesn’t take away from the grasp on the poem. i really can’t say anything about this poem negatively.
  • great imagery, also great use of enjambment… very nice use of words, esp. descriptive verbs & adjectives.
  • all around great language, crisp specific word choice.
  • your use of meter is…well done and keeps the poem moving forward.
  • works very well in sonnet form.
  • i really like the way chess becomes a metaphor for politics or the chessboard comes alive and the pieces become sentient.

Score!