fig.jpgI was a nude mod­el for Spencer Tunick’s lat­est instal­la­tion this morn­ing.

And they were both naked, the man and his wife, and were not ashamed.
Gen­e­sis 2:25

Sev­er­al thou­sand oth­er folks fol­lowed my lead and were naked too. My Defec­tive Life was prob­a­bly there as well. I did see her car. It was fun, apart from cold hands and feet.

Let me just say this: Cleve­land has lots of girl-fla­vored eye can­dy. My grand­moth­er thinks this was pr0nographic. My ma don’t know what to think. No, I was not embarassed to be naked in front of peo­ple. They were in the same boat as I am, which makes things eas­i­er. Also, though I’m not some sort of Ado­nis, my body isn’t hor­ri­ble.

The first shot had us all line up along the 9th street pier up into the city. I was in approx­i­mate­ly the third row up on the Cleve­land side. It was quite fun­ny to watch cars dri­ve by, slow down, get yelled at by the police and then tear out of there. It was also ridicu­lous­ly cold. There was an amaz­ing­ly attrac­tive girl right in front of me. I was only slight­ly dis­tract­ed by the string from the tam­pon stuck in her buttcrack.

Yes, I looked at girls, and they looked at us; and despite it being a sort of ‘check­ing out’ it was some­how much less sex­u­al, I think, because the only mys­tery left is what the per­son is actu­al­ly like.

The two oth­er instal­la­tions he did were gen­der spe­cif­ic, the girls went first, by the lin­er that was docked, and then the guys had the instal­la­tion fac­ing the Browns sta­di­um. Appar­ent­ly girls pre­fer the back­sides of men to the front sides, judg­ing from the cheer that went up when Spencer had us turn around. As a man, I would like to say that girls look good from all sides.

Being naked in a large group of naked men was quite bor­ing. It remind­ed me of a lock­er room only replac­ing get­ting snapped by a tow­el with hav­ing ridicu­lous­ly cold feet. Then I spent 200 bucks get­ting new tires on my car.

Every­one in Cleve­land has a tat­too, appar­ent­ly. The title of this post will most like­ly result in thou­sands of new hits look­ing for nudie pics of that Aussie guy with my name.