Today has sucked ass again. I must have the largest self-esteem prob­lem in the world. That and I get a swollen eye and rug­burn across the face because I said “How does it feel to be from Mis­souri now?” when the Rams lost the Super­bowl. Women are attract­ed to my nin­com­poop room­mate in droves, I think he has 4 or 5 right now…whereas any­time I try I just end up shoot­ing myself in the foot or feet or even blow off an appendage. Fuck Me. I miss my boys from back home. I always had a good time with them. I have a lot of pent up aggres­sion that I have been unable to relieve through fenc­ing. Since I am not a phys­i­cal­ly vio­lent per­son I can’t beat the shit out of some­one. Mebbe I am striv­ing against a force much more pow­er­ful than myself. God, Fate, Mur­phy’s Law, the Ever­last­ing Gob­sta­cle? I should just give up on it and resign myself to being single…maybe I’ll become a priest…