when it comes to impersonating a Great Ape of the order Primates i am king. i can be a wonderful monkey. it helps that i gangle more than most people and have the emotional development of a juvenile lemur. i’ve got aggressive/excited Gorilla behavior down to a science. i’ve got my standard excited hopping around/pantomime feces-throwing ‘aaah aaah’ screaming monkey and also my creepy angry chest-beating, branch shaking ‘ooh ooh’ bum-rushing silverback rush. most people who know me think it is rather funny. one of my friends gets scared whenever i do it though. apparently i’m TOO accurate.
so, if you ever need someone to act like a gorilla/monkey be sure to call my toll free number 1–888-APE-MANN. sorry, i don’t do birthday parties.