The {foo} Talk

So my kid told a couple of other kids (girls) at school that a “male penis” goes inside a female and releases sperm and the sperm meets the egg and that is mating. I learned of this when the Assistant Principal gave me a call & was audibly awkward about the whole thing. I get that 3rd grade might be a bit too early for some parents to want their kid to know that kind of stuff, but the night is dark and full of terrors.

I’m just glad my kid knows the right terminology and the mechanics of the process & that he’s still innocent on the technique. I gave him the details when he asked. My mom did the same for me when I was nought but a wee bairn.

He knows all of the common curse words. He also knows that I know that he knows them. He also knows that I know that he knows that I know that he knows not to use those words until he’s has a better appreciation for the timing & appropriateness thereof.

He knows that I fuck up screw up as a dad and a human sometimes. He knows that this happens and it’s okay, and that it’s healthy to admit when we do something wrong & that we have to work together to be better people.

The world is tough to navigate — I don’t want to make it any harder for my kid. I try to give it to him straight.