The {foo} Talk

So my kid told a cou­ple of oth­er kids (girls) at school that a “male penis” goes inside a female and releas­es sperm and the sperm meets the egg and that is mat­ing. I learned of this when the Assis­tant Prin­ci­pal gave me a call & was audi­bly awk­ward about the whole thing. I get that 3rd grade might be a bit too ear­ly for some par­ents to want their kid to know that kind of stuff, but the night is dark and full of terrors.

I’m just glad my kid knows the right ter­mi­nol­o­gy and the mechan­ics of the process & that he’s still inno­cent on the tech­nique. I gave him the details when he asked. My mom did the same for me when I was nought but a wee bairn.

He knows all of the com­mon curse words. He also knows that I know that he knows them. He also knows that I know that he knows that I know that he knows not to use those words until he’s has a bet­ter appre­ci­a­tion for the tim­ing & appro­pri­ate­ness thereof.

He knows that I fuck up screw up as a dad and a human some­times. He knows that this hap­pens and it’s okay, and that it’s healthy to admit when we do some­thing wrong & that we have to work togeth­er to be bet­ter people.

The world is tough to nav­i­gate — I don’t want to make it any hard­er for my kid. I try to give it to him straight.